Gander Neutrality

Er, I think I’m supposed to say Goose neutral?  Drake neutral?  This is getting ducking silly…

I just saw this article on Yahoo! News, I mean Yahoo! “News,” about gender-neutral names being more popular now than ever before.  The article also states, “The older generation may be taken aback by gender-neutral names and think a name should announce the child’s gender.”  I guess I’m the older generation.  But I’m not taken aback, so much as I am really fucking annoyed that this is a thing people worry about.  The gender of a name is now a topic of debate?

Young people are so hip and progressive, refusing to be pinned down to being a boy or a girl just because they have a penis or a vagina. How dare society and science and biology and anatomy and reality tell them who they are?

Know what else is gender-neutral?

Door.  Or Bus.  Comet.  Sour Milk. Stuff.  Things, if twins. Sorry, multiples.  Just because they occupied the same womb at the same time, doesn’t mean they’re exactly the same.  Twins is so archaic…

Danielle​, if we have a child, we’re naming itherhim Person.  With no last name, because who are we to claim a Person as “ours?”

Person Earth Universe.

Now that’s a non-specific, gender neutral, can’t hurt anyone’s fucking feelings name.  I swear, we’re all going to be gray blobs in a few generations.

Here’s a little diagram to help alleviate some confusion:

I chose a drake because it’s much more difficult to determine the anatomy of a Li’l Wayne or a Little Debbie.

I’m not against anyone expressing himself.  Herself.  I was always taught it’s wrong to write “themselves” when referring to one person. But here, I concede: I’m not against a person expressing themselves.  What I’m against is being told by a bullshit media that it’s wrong to define someone.  The very act of telling someone not to be judgmental is judgmental.  Boys have always been he; girls are she.  I don’t know…

…Maybe it’s just me.

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