The third of maybe


That title don’t mean shit.  I just wanted to put something in there and for whatever reason, I kept hearing—in my head, naturally—this british voice saying “thiurrld” and I typed third.  Rather than just putting May 3, which utterly lacks imagination (don’t tell me from yesterday, May 2-boy), I thought the word maybe would better encapsulate the uncertainty with which I created my title.

Now that all that is settled, allow my to proceed…

The semester is officially finished.  I just got done with my final conference for Advanced Creative Writing.  Yes.  That is my answer to those of you who would say, “But Rob, am I mistaken, or did you not take that class last Fall?”  Yes.  Wait.  No.  You are not mistaken.  I did take that class last Fall.  You are correct.  OK, I have to go pour baking soda and vinegar in my ear.  The grade-school-style, volcanic eruption oughta clear out the circular logic.  Be right back…

Back!  Do you hear that, dear reader?  Something is crackling, like an alka-seltzer was dropped into a Pepsi and then placed in the middle of some homemade clay shaped to resemble Krakatoa.  Anyway, When last semester came to and end, my professor invited me to return this semester as an audit.  She enjoyed having me in class, considered my critiques of other students’ work to be excellent, and welcomed my participation in a future class.  Also, she asked if I would be interested in running a break-out group in prose/fiction.  Considering the offer quite an honor, I graciously accepted.

When the Spring semester began, I learned that financial aid does not pay for audits.  Being the unemployed loser, I hadn’t the resources to pay for the class on my own, so I had to find a way to make it work otherwise.  As the facts emerges, it was made known that I wsaeligible to take the class for a letter grade a second time; financial aid would pay for that.  Last fall, I earned an A-.  Sounds all well and good.  Right?  You’d be fucking wrong.  (Sorry.)  I had been working on a 4.0, and the A- dragged me down to a 3.92.  Again, not too shabby.  But for a man who sixteen years ago graduated from the hallowed halls of Flagler College (if Penn is Ivy League, Flagler is Palm League.  OK, maybe Crabgrass League…) with a whopping 2.6, straight-A’s and a 4.0 means a good bit.  No worries, though, because my GPA is good enough to warrant an invitation to join Phi Theta Kappa, the National Honor Society for community colleges—another invitation I gladly accepted.

That was a long paragraph.  I started a new one just to break it up a bit.  Nice, right?  Yeah…  Where was I?  Oh, so I found out that I could take Advanced for a letter grade again.  Figured, bring that A- up to a solid A, handle business in journalism, and I’m back at my 4.0.  At tonight’s conference, I learned I earned another A-.  What the fuck, right?  Well, maybe.  I let some things get to me a couple weeks back and I missed a day of groups which I was leading, so that’s where I lost points.  Oh, and my script, “Tee Time” got a B+.  Fuck.  Anyway, I let myself down, but not in class.  I got what I deserved.  Lesson learned.

I registered for Fall 2012 classes today.  If the world ends in December, I’ll leave behind some more scripts and a few paintings.  That way, future civilizations will be able to understand how we lived.  By my shit.  Tangent time…

Seriously, we assume to know what the past was like based on shit like cave paintings, arrowheads, and lines in the rock bed.  I pose this:  What if the only cave paintings we have found were drawn by the helmet-wearing, nose-picking numb nuts of his time?  Isn’t it possible that, while all the other males were ona hunt, Ogg was sitting in a hole somewhere, drawing stupid shit that he thought he saw?  And the whole thing with ancient artwork resembling modern interpretations of UFOs and angels; is there a possibility that, just maybe, it was the ancient equivolent of Alice in Wonderland?

These are just thoughts, people.  Don’t get too attached…

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7 thoughts on “The third of maybe

  1. Even though you are mad about it, well done on getting an A-!! I tend to remember you pep talking me when I got my A- in bio, telling me its awesome and I should be happy. Be happy damn it!!! There’s my pep talk.

    • I said that? Doesn’t sound like me. More like someone supportive and caring. I’m all sarcastic and bitter… Hmmm… And thank you 🙂

  2. Congrats on the A-. I got an A- in that class, too, though I learned more in Pat’s class than in many classes in which I got a solid A. I hope to be at writer’s group soon; things are a little crazy right now, but I do miss everyone. Check out “Philadelphia Stories” for a short story contest. The deadline is in a few weeks, I think it is a $10 fee to enter. Not too bad. Use some of your prize money!

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