Giving Thanks.


Gobble, gobble Y’all!!  Happy Thanksgiving.  This will be my post for 2010 Turkey Day.  And so it goes:

To each and every one of you reading this, thank you.  By reading my posts, by laughing and crying and wondering with me, you foster this thing that I do, help me hone my craft, push me to push myself so that this may one day become something more.  I have for a long time put my thoughts down, in hopes that by doing so, I can sort through the clutter, find some kind of order among the chaos.  The pen has served me well throughout my life, and for that I am thankful.  So, keep reading.  I will keep writing.  Never know where it’ll take us…

Starting there, I am grateful for the pen, the paper, the ink, all of which has allowed me to express the things that have over the years made me feel so different, so hard to understand.  I am grateful for the computer upon which I now peck.  I am grateful for the ability to express myself in a clear, sometimes coherent manner.

I am grateful that this morning, unlike so many other pros and amateurs alike, I did not wake up with a hangover.  My head was clear and I remembered yesterday.  The day/night before Thanksgiving has long been recognized as the busiest drinking day of the year.  As a sober guy, who gives a fuck?  Really.  I used to.  Can’t tell you how many Thanksgivings I forget.  Well, genius, I can’t tell you because I forget.  What was it about me that insisted upon getting so plowed that I could barely enjoy the magnificent bounty that was to be laid before me, in this the luckiest nation on this fair Earth?  I’d get to drinking beers, then I’d turn to the whiskey.  At some point, I’d be snorting huge lines of cocaine.  Just as the Pilgrims did two hundred years ago.  What?  You didn’t know that?  Yeah, John Smith was a huge coke head.  Sacajawea had the best shit.  Pure.  Man.  So anyway, dry heaving in between servings of stuffing and green bean casserole was an annual tradition!  Cranberry sauce?  More like Cranberry Souse!  See how I did that?  Nice, huh?  I’m eternally grateful that I’m sober today.

I’m thankful that I’m healthy and able to hold a job.  I’m happy to go to work, earn a paycheck, and pay my bills.  Nobody’s job is perfect, I know.  Mine is no exception to that rule.  But I’m extremely thankful that each day I have the opportunity to be part of helping folks.  Yup.  “Helping folks.”  That’s what we do.  We help “folks.”  Hahahahaha.  People love being called folks.  It’s true.  Look it up.

I’m thankful that I have my family within reach.  There  was a time that I stayed away.  At times, because of who I was; at other times, because of who they were.  But these days, I love them all, and I appreciate their love and support.  Even the ones that I don’t see or talk to on a regular basis, I am so grateful for them!  I just spent six-plus hours with my Aunt Mary’s family and all went well.  My belly is full and I feel loved.  Why is it that family just makes you eat and eat and eat???  It’s not enough that I have gravy running from my nostrils, surely there’s room in there somewhere for pie and coffee.  Naturally, I found room.

I’m grateful for my friends.  All of them.  The fact that I’m 36 and still consider so many people to be friends is a tribute to you all.  It’s not easy to maintain so many friends.  But God damn,  it’s worth it.  I love you all, as well.  The people I grew up with are a special bunch.  Something about East Falls, they stick together like you can’t imagine.  I could call any of a large number of these guys and they’d be there without hesitation before even asking what it was I needed.  The same can be said for many of the friends I made while living in Florida.  Trust me, as a man gets older, the list of folks (there’s that word again!) upon whom you can really rely grows short.  Most of the stories I can tell would be nothing if it weren’t for the close friends who were there with me as the shit went down.  Perhaps I’m living in fantasyland, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s all the people who’ve called me friend that have made my life so worth living!

Speaking of making my life worth living, I’m grateful for my darling Danielle.  She inspires me every day to keep pushing on no matter how I feel.  She’s so damn resilient, and I want to be ever-stronger for her, to be a better man, more loving, patient, caring, accepting, and understanding.  Holy shit, she’s impressive: smart, beautiful, funny, intelligent and interesting!  We have great conversations.  Even our silences are pretty fucking awesome!  She puts up with my moods and still loves me.  She thinks I’m funny and smart.  She even thinks I’m handsome.  Fuck yeah, I’m thankful for her!!

I’m also thankful to be living in the US.  Seriously, just because I was born on July 4th doesn’t mean I MUST be all patriotic and listen to Toby Keith, get all fired up and want to “turn the middle east into glass.”  In fact, I’m such a conspiracy theory fan that I actually believe that there is much wrong with our country.  That said, there’s still no place I’d rather be.  I couldn’t even mention my feelings like this without fear of retribution in many other nations.  Freedom of Speech is so fucking invaluable.  For that, I’m grateful.  Now, having been born on the Fourth of July, I grew up thinking that the whole country celebrated with me.  I was some sort of star.  Well, as disappointed as I was to learn the reality, I still love fireworks, and I’d like to say thanks to our Chinese enemies for making them so awesome!!!  Don’t worry.  I know exactly how this whole thing is going to turn out, so I’ve ordered the Rosetta Stone tapes.  We’ll all be speaking Chinese soon enough!  You think Bank of Taipei will give me a credit card???  Chase sure as fuck won’t!

I’m grateful for my mind–this wonderful, twisted bio-machine, capable of countless computations every nanosecond–which allows me to view my reality.  The ability to strings letters and words together to express the thoughts inside, the ability to think these thoughts, the (perceived) mobility which enables me to travel across the landscape, the imagination to ponder the breadth of the heavens and the depths of the microscopic.  All of these incredible, amazing processes come from my mind and I love, truly love, that they are mine to experience and enjoy!!

I am grateful for the ability to love and be loved.  It is these that will prevent my life from being a lonely one.

Of course, the list of things for which I’m thankful goes on and on.  Simple things like hot showers, cans of soup, clean socks and underwear, contact lenses, etc.  These many things which I may take for granted on a daily basis, they’re innumerable yet essential to my happiness.  And happy I am.  For which I give the greatest thanks.  I am happy.  To everyone who reads this, thank you.  I know it’s Thanksgiving and we’re all reminded to give thanks today.  But there is another day tomorrow–and another after that, and so on–which are equally worthy of being a day of thanksgiving.  Be thankful each and every day for those in your life.  Shit, be thankful for those that are no longer in your life for one reason or another.  Say thank you to God, to the Universe, to the clouds floating by.  Fuck, say thank you to a complete fucking stranger.  Just to do it.  We all have so much to be thankful for every single day.

Life is good, my belly’s full and my pajamas are comfortable as fuck!  Thanks for reading…

 

2 thoughts on “Giving Thanks.

  1. I am thankful for you. Robert you are the love of my life, my best friend and the man of my dreams!!! You are indescribably talented, sexy, loving and fucking brilliant! Thank God, thank the universe, for bringing you into my life!!! CHOMP!!!

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